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For I'm President Servalan

by Chris Blenkarn

After "For I'm called Little Buttercup" from HMS Pinafore, by Gilbert and Sullivan

For I'm President Servalan
Treacherous mistress of guile
In strategy fearless
And intrigue quite peerless
Resistance to me is futile.

I like using power to make people cower
While plotting in matters of state
My staff I beguile with an insincere smile
Before sending them off to their fate
I've a ravishing profile and exquisite hairstyle
I adore an extravagant gown
In outfits risque
On stilettos, I sway
While contriving a rebel showdown

For I'm President Servalan
Swathed in white velvets and furs
I'm smart and I'm glamorous
Sometimes quite amourous
Of men I'm a true conniosseuse.

I'm told I'm capricious
Old friends call me vicious
Whilst there's life there is threat's my maxim
Those who cross me, regret it, they end in a slave pit
I've had colleagues exiled on a whim
Now to Avon, let's say, my respects I convey
I've a Beaumes of impeccable vintage
I've glasses and corkscrew
His opinion I'd value
Not to drink it would be sacrilege

For I'm President Servalan
Never an also-ran
Graceful, exquisite, refined
I despatch each new rival
I vote for survival -
With Avon, if he's so inclined.

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