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The Federation Cometh

By Alex Norrish.

(To the tune of 'The Gasman Cometh', by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann).

'Twas on a Monday morning a pursuit-ship came to call
We outran it and out-gunned it, not in our league at all,
We could have kept our distance, but our leader was insane -
We turned back and got ambushed, now we're on the run again.

O it all makes work for a rebel crew to do.

'Twas on the Tuesday morning a resistance girl came round
She said her name was Avalon, her CV seemed quite sound,
She'd fought the Federation, tried to put the worlds to rights -
But it turned out she'd been programmed, and they'd got us in their sights.

O it all makes work [etc]

'Twas on the Wednesday morning Space Commander Travis came
Obsessed for some strange reason with Blake's history and name,
We beat him up and left him for the Feds to take him in -
But then Servalan forgave him, we'd not seen the last of him.

O it all makes work [etc]

'Twas on a Thursday morning the Andromedans came along,
We found we couldn't stop them, so we had to save Star One,
Betray our fearless leader - it took no time at all
But we found that with our ship gone we were up against the wall.

O it all makes work [etc]

'Twas on a Friday morning Servalan finally played her part,
In dazzling white satin, set to touch Kerr Avon's heart,
We might have had a bargain, but we found when she'd moved on
She'd transmitted our position, and they knew where we had gone.

And on Saturday and Sunday they air no episode at all -
So 'twas on a Monday morning the pursuit ship came to call.

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