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Cally and Jenna's Teleport Song

by Chris Blenkarn

After "When a felon's not engaged in his employment" from the Pirates of Penzance, by Gilbert and Sullivan

(Cally and Jenna:)
Yet again we're left to do the teleporting
While the men have all the fun down on the ground
On the ground
Once we've finished washing up and done the ironing
Done the ironing
There is not much else to do but hang around.
Hang around.
For we know that any minute they'll need back-up
They'll need back-up
'Cos their bracelets will fall off, as bracelets do
Bracelets do
We'll pull on our high-heeled boots to sort the cock-up
Sort the cock-up
And pull off some smart manoeuvre impromptu
When there's teleporting duties to be done
To be done
We women's lot is not a happy one.
Happy one.

Until recently I worked as a free trader
A free trader
Running rings around each fresh authority
Now I've hooked up to a one-track-mind crusader
A crusader
Though I'm not his number one priority.

It's a pain that in first aid I've a diploma
A diploma
For concern and sticking plasters seem my fate
Seem her fate
Not forgetting keeping Vila off the Soma
Off the Soma
Wishing Avon would my care reciprocate.

When you're stuck with men who tender passions shun
Passions shun
We women's lot is not a happy one.
Happy one.

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