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When I was Arrested

by Chris Blenkarn

After: When I was a Lad, from HMS Pinafore, by Gilbert and Sullivan

When I was arrested I thought I'd die
"Resistance is useless!" was the constant cry
Then they mindwiped me, though it sounds bizarre
It's just another weapon in their repertoire
But events took a turn they couldn't foresee
And now I lead the rebels on a DSV

When I was a lass I learned how to fly
My career took off but then it went awry
I joined up with Amagons and smuggled and stole
Perfected aerobatics and the victory roll
But my life took a dive quite suddenly
And now I am a rebel on a DSV

When I was in banking, I went freelance
Embezzling lots of credits while I had the chance
I relied on other people who betrayed my trust
I was put on trial and sentenced, much to my disgust
And finally my luck's reached its apogee
For now I am a rebel on a DSV

When I was a lad I became a thief
But unhappily my enterprises came to grief
Then despite an attempted ship hi-jack
We were dumped on Cygnus Alpha with a maniac
I reckoned this time I was up a gum tree
But instead I am a rebel on a DSV

When I was a Gamma I would ply my trade
Then go home and dig the garden with my great big spade
When that soldier killed my woman I got really mad
So when he kicked the bucket I was not too sad
My ability to fight I can't guarantee
But still I am a rebel on a DSV

When I took up freedom fighting some years ago
I intended Auron's enemies to overthrow
I could handle a rifle and do first aid
Though telepathic warnings were my stock in trade
From Saurian Major I'm an absentee
For now I am a rebel on a DSV

When first the System assembled me
I understood my function was to oversee
To inform and to monitor where 'ere we flew
Now I can confirm that we've acquired fresh crew
I detect they are descended from a chimpanzee
But now we all are rebels on my DSV

So now the Cause we together embrace
We will fight the Federation out in deepest space
The deeds of such committed and skilled personnel
Are sure to live forever so don't say farewell
For further delectation ask the BBC
To show again the rebels on their DSV

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