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Auron Plaint

by Chris Blenkarn

After: "For riches and rank I do not long" from Iolanthe

Solo and chorus: Cally and crew
I want to fight troopers and smash the State
I'm appalled by its perfidy
Yet each time we've a foe to obliterate
I'm the one who's left getting the tea
My people to me have this saying taught
Beware an Auron who's feeling fraught
My true vocation
Is annihilation
Don't tell me to handle teleport!

I've had it with aliens in my head
And endless Monopoly
Life's not what I'd hoped for, I've been misled
With vendettas I don't agree
I can see that Avon is resolute
This Shrinker he means to execute
The crew's regressing
It's so depressing
For the Cause they just do not give a hoot.

I've had enough, I'm saying ciao!

What, now?

As if you care.
I plan the struggle to resume

With whom?

That's my affair.
I've had my combat trousers pressed

You're stressed

A view I share.
Of my comp'ny, Franton would be glad

You're mad!

Just going spare.

We fear the lady's serious
Or possibly delirious
Sympathy she elicits

But where's our tea and biscuits?

You can ask her, if you dare
If you dare.

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