I first started watching Stargate SG-1 as pure escapism. Life was going through a bad patch and I needed something that wasn't too demanding. I'm not quite sure when I realised that I was hooked. Probably about the time that I realised Jack O'Neill was absolutely gorgeous. I started watching episodes with more attention and rewatching earlier ones in the right order and discovered that Teal'c had a subtle sense of humour that I'd entirely missed the first time around, Carter was the role model I'd wanted in SF TV when I was growing up, and Daniel was cute as well as intelligent. Furthermore, the series occasionally delved into the darker aspects of things and was willing to kill characters on occasion. (I really missed Martouf, but I'm glad the show is willing to kill characters I relate to, because there's no sense of danger otherwise)


      I started writing. The only other series that has ever inspired me to write is Blake's 7 and I've written so many stories there that I've lost count. Until Stargate, nothing else said 'write me'.


      This novel was intended to be a short story. It might even have been a short story if Harry Maybourne hadn't walked into it. He walked in, he took over. Seems appropriate for Maybourne somehow. It wasn't until my second time round watching Stargate that I suddenly realised Harry was one of the most interesting characters in it. I like the devious ambiguous ones. What are Maybourne's objectives? How far can he be trusted? Read on. Find out...


      This novel has a bit of everything and draws on elements from every season. I did a count and discovered I had spoilers for twenty-one episodes, plus the movie. I could say it's a story about everything, but ultimately, it's asking one basic question: When the past catches up with you and what seemed like a right decision at the time seems like a very bad one in retrospect, what price are you willing to pay?


      That's what the characters in this story have to discover, and the ultimate price may be a very painful one indeed.


      This story is deliberately set 3/4 of the way through the fifth season. I wanted to set it pre-Meridian, but with most of the series having taken place. This novel takes its own course through history after the events of 'Last Stand' - do not assume that things will return to the aired series afterwards. Cassandra is sixteen in this novel. That's how old she appeared to me, so that's the age I've given her.


      There is now a sequal to this novel, called "Truth and Consequences".


      Major thanks are due to Lucy Carr who helped translate all my British phrases into American English. This is the first time I've written in a US fandom and there are a lot of cultural pitfalls for the unwary. I strongly suspect she was rolling on the floor laughing on occasion, or else scratching her head in total confusion. When it gets to colloquial usage, the languages differ a lot.


      Thanks also go to Predatrix for being willing to proof-read a zine in an alien fandom.

      This zine is copyright © July 2002 to Judith Proctor. It is understood that only original material is covered by this copyright and no attempt is made to supersede any copyright held by MGM or any other copyright holder of Stargate SG-1 material.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are grey,
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away.

The other night, dear, as I lay dreaming,
I dreamt that you were by my side,
Came disillusion, when I awoke, dear,
You were gone, and then I cried.

You told me once, dear, there'd be no other,
That no one else could come between,
But now you've left me, to love another,
You have broken all my dreams.

I'll always love you, and make you happy,
If you will only do the same,
But if you leave me, how it will grieve me,
Never more I'll breathe your name.

The Story | Contents

Back to Stargate Fiction
Back to Top Page